A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child..

I believe that any man who takes the liberty of another into his keeping is bound to become a tyrant, and that any man who yields up his liberty, in ….

Whenever "A" attempts by law to impose his moral standards upon "B," "A" is most likely a scoundrel..

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses..

God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat..

When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity for him. All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough..

The final test of truth is ridicule. Very few dogmas have ever faced it and survived..

A metaphysician is one who, when you remark that twice two makes four, demands to know what you mean by twice, what by two, what by makes, and what b….

[A formula for answering controversial letters -- without even reading the letters:] Dear Sir (or Madame): You may be right..

Nothing can come out of an artist that is not in the man..

The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads; it has been furthered by gay fellows who heaved dead cats into sanctuaries ….

Some time ago a publisher told me that there are four kinds of books that seldom, if ever, lose money in the United States--first,murder stories; sec….

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses..

Religion is a conceited effort to deny the most obvious realities..

The art of writing, like the art of love, runs all the way from a kind of routine hard to distinguish from piling bricks to a kind of frenzy closely ….

One of the laudable by-products of the Freudian quackery is the discovery that lying, in most cases, is involuntary and inevitable--that the liar can….

Hope: A pathological belief in the occurrence of the impossible..

By what route do otherwise sane men come to believe such palpable nonsense? How is it possible for a human brain to be divided into two insulated hal….

The true function of art is to criticize, embellish and edit nature… the artist is a sort of impassioned proof-reader, blue penciling the bad spellin….

It is difficult to believe that even idiots ever succumbed to such transparent contradictions, to such gaudy processions of mere counter-words, to so….

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs..