I never smoked a cigarette until I was nine..

All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a visit to….

Women have a hard enough time in this world: telling them the truth would be too cruel..

Man, at his best, remains a sort of one-lunged animal, never completely rounded and perfect, as a cockroach, say, is perfect..

I know a good many men of great learning-that is, men born with an extraordinary eagerness and capacity to acquire knowledge. One and all, they tell ….

All American wars (except the Civil War) have been fought with the odds overwhelmingly in favor of the Americans. In the history of armed combat such….

Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man. There has never been a really good one, and even those that are most tolerable are arbitra….

The late William Jennings Bryan, L.L.D., always had one great advantage in controversy; he was never burdened with an understanding of his opponent's….

A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic passion..

It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause..

In the main, there are two sorts of books: those that no one reads and those that no one ought to read..

What ails the truth is that it is mainly uncomfortable, and often dull. The human mind seeks something more amusing, and more caressing..

I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing..

All government, of course, is against liberty..

Criticism is prejudice made plausible..

Happiness is peace after strife, the overcoming of difficulties, the feeling of security and well-being. The only really happy folk are married women….

The chief business of the nation, as a nation, is the setting up of heroes, mainly bogus..

I can't imagine a genuinely intelligent boy getting much out of college, even out of a good college, save it be a cynical habit of mind..

I do not believe in democracy, but I am perfectly willing to admit that it provides the only really amusing form of government ever endured by mankin….

Democracy must be a sound scheme at bottom, else it would not survive such cruel strains..

The only way for a reporter to look at a politician is down..