In every woman's life there is one real and consuming love. But very few women guess which one it is..

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican..

Writing books is certainly a most unpleasant occupation. It is lonesome, unsanitary, and maddening. Many authors go crazy..

The more a man dreams, the less he believes..

The truth is that the scientific value of Polar exploration is greatly exaggerated. The thing that takes men on such hazardous trips is really not an….

Hamlet has been played by 5,000 actors, no wonder he is crazy..

They have taken the care and upbringing of children out of the hands of parents, where it belongs, and thrown it upon a gang of irresponsible and uni….

The university president who cashiered every professor unwilling to support Woodrow Wilson for the first vacancy in the Trinity. . . ..

The average schoolmaster is and always must be essentially an ass, for how can one imagine an intelligent man engaging in so puerile an avocation..

The so-called religious organizations which now lead the war against the teaching of evolution are nothing more, at bottom, than conspiracies of the ….

The Catholic clergy seldom bother to make their arguments plausible; it is plain that they have little respect for human intelligence, and indeed lit….

Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience..

Courtroom : A place where Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot would be equals, with the betting odds favoring Judas..

The law is a sort of hocus-pocus science that smiles in your face while it picks your pocket..

To wage a war for a purely moral reason is as absurd as to ravish a woman for a purely moral reason.

No one in this world, so far as I know - and I have searched the records for years, and employed agents to help me - has ever lost money by underesti….

After all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done..

There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity for happiness..

The most satisfying and ecstatic faith is almost purely agnostic. It trusts absolutely without professing to know at all..

I never listen to debates. They are dreadful things indeed. The plain truth is that I am not a fair man, and don't want to hear both sides. On all kn….

Science is unflinchingly deterministic, and it has begun to force its determinism into morals. On some shining tomorrow a psychoanalyst may be put in….