To think, we have the garment industry instead of nature to thank for the zipper concept when it would have come in so handy for childbirth..

Just think: your family are the people most likely to give you the flu..

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist..

Infinity: Time on an ego trip..

My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just not going to work..

I even worry about reflective flea collars. Oh, sure, drivers can see them glow in the dark, but so can the fleas..

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent..