Johnny Walker, the American that fought for the Taliban, is now talking with an Arabic accent. Have you heard him? It's ridiculous. I know how we sho….

A jury found former Enron sleezeballs Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling guilty of fraud and conspiracy. Ken Lay? That's not a good name to have when you're g….

President Bush spoke with the Amish. He didn't want to, but it was the only group he could find that wasn't upset about the high price of gas..

Jesse Jackson's wife was arrested in Puerto Rico while protesting the naval bombings there. Jesse said he was holding a meeting with four of his secr….

I think there's one more thing Perry can forget, too: Being president..

In an unlikely pairing, Hillary Clinton made an appearance this week with Newt Gingrich to push a health care plan. The press is making a big deal ou….

Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they ge….

American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade Iraq, the who….

President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama’s handicap is Joe Biden..

The CEO of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, married one of the Enron secretaries this week. It's amazing how romantic these Enron guys can be when they reali….

They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and his second wife, his current wife, is wor….

Michael Jackson has a new baby boy; no word yet who the father is..

A woman in Great Britain has died after being hit in the back of the head by a golf ball, on the first hole. Her husband was so distraught, he only p….

Tonight was the CNN primary debate with the four remaining candidates. It was kind of a change for Newt Gingrich. Usually when he's arguing with thre….

If Arnold is elected, you know who I'd feel sorry for? The people on death row. Imagine, you're about to be executed, the governor calls, you think i….

A survey has shown that the average man has had sex in a car 15 times. Something to keep in mind next time you're looking for a used car..

CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts: regular, premium and unleaded..

It's just a matter of time before we go into Iraq and get Saddam Hussein. I think just before Bush falls below 50 percent, that's when we'll be going..

Experts say that if we go to war with Iraq, oil could reach as much as $80 a barrel. Of course, after the war it will be free..

My wife loves Europe, but to me it's a bad day at a theme park..

Obama called on Americans to have more grandchildren. Probably so there's more of them to pay off our debt..