Malina looked incredulous. "Are you anything more than a Druid?" "Of course I am. I own this shop and I play a mean game of chess, and I've been told….

Whoa. He had ghouls on speed dial. My lawyer kicks so much ass..

There are many perks to living for twenty-one centuries, and foremost among them is bearing witness to the rare birth of genius. It invariably goes l….

I tend to vacillate between belief systems. Right now I'm kind of checking out the whole buffet, you know, and maybe in a little while I'll decide on….

Granuaile:"So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood?" Atticus:" Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice..

She thinks petting me is an honor. This is an unexpected position to take for a goddess of slaughter, but I applaud her defiance of convention..

He was a god of rock. He nearly solved all the world's problems with nothing but power chords and anguished cries into a microphone..

Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it..

Not everyone can be bribed with meat, Oberon." "They Can't? Oh! you mean they're vegetarian." "No, they eat meat. It just doesn't sway their decision….

Brighid’s eyes flashed with a blue flame, and I wondered if she had learned to do that just so she could compete with the Morrigan’s red flashes. May….

She's kind of like a Mary Poppins just before she turns to the dark side of the Force," Oberon said. He was still behind the counter, but he had a go….

Peace be with you," I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and asskicking be with me..

Tell her I am Peace Dawg but I think her cats are closely allied with The Man. I'm going to stick it to them..

... we banked around until we found a rainbow in the dark. It was on this occasion that I discovered that Granuaile had never heard of Ronnie James D….

I had my own dump truck of bad karma waiting for me somewhere ahwad. I had certainly earned it, but I raced to avoid it if I could; there was no way ….

As any war veteran will tell you, there is a vast difference between preparing for battle and actually facing battle for the first time..

You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate. Sometimes dogs f….

That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous..

I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the first night home from the hosp….

Here is how you know someone has had a good idea: Other people freely admit to their friends that said idea has changed their lives. Most people toda….

I had an ASU student looking for it in my shop last week, and he defined the Bacchants for me as 'those drunk chicks who killed that one dude because….