If by any chance a playwright wishes to express a political opinion or a moral opinion or a philosophy, he must be a good enough craftsman to do it w….

I'm over-educated in the things I shouldn't have known at all..

Having to read footnotes resembles having to go downstairs to answer the door while in the midst of making love..

I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the….

How foolish to think that one can ever slam the door in the face of age. Much wiser to be polite and gracious and ask him to lunch in advance..

I don't believe in astrology. The only stars I can blame for my failures are those that walk about the stage..

My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough..

For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth..

I can't sing, but I know how to, which is quite different..

I have always been very fond of them (drama critics) . . . I think it is so frightfully clever of them to go night after night to the theatre and kno….

If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday..

Good heavens, television is something you appear on; you don't watch..

To take a gloomy view of life is not part of my philosophy; to laugh at the idiocies of my fellow creatures is. However, at this particular moment I ….

He must have been an incredibly good shot..

I want a horse and plough, Chickens too, Just one cow, With a wistful moo..

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me..

I also avoid green vegetables. They're grossly overrated..

How about slipping out of those wet things and into a dry Martini?.

He's completely unspoiled by failure..

I write at high speed because boredom is bad for my health..

At twelve noon, The natives swoon And no further work is doneBut mad dogs and Englishmen, Go out in the midday sun..