It's very difficult once you've been on telly because people know what you do. They give you a little bit of grace but then they're harsher if you're….

When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him..

The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo..

I never did that badly with women when I wasn't on telly, but it's a bit out of control now. Women try it on with me more than I'm comfortable with. ….

I'm going to name drop like an idiot now, but Bono rang me up once, right? I don't know how he got my number, but I, ever so stupidly, and obviously ….

In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous..

Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse..

I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes..

I don't think I'd have done comedy if I was born eighty years ago I'd have been a lord. Shooting people that were on my land With a wig, yeah. And so….

Never try and go on a solo mission on your own..

There's not enough psychedelic stuff on TV. I want the world to be a bit weirder than it is. I hate reality, so I hate reality TV. But I love Columbo..

You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder..

When you're quite young, your imagination's quite free..

There was a big age difference between me and my brothers - about 10 years - so I was an only child for a long time. I used to hang out a lot on my o….

Yeah? Rock 'n' Roll is fast, you know. If all goes according to plan I could be in rehab next thursday. Tuesday week I'll be living on an island with….

All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead..

We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys.

That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade..

I think I should be in a film called 'Space Shrews'. Where I go to space. With a load of shrews. And nothing really happens. We just get out and have….

Things are different in the fantasy world Towels are different in the fantasy world Shows are different in the fantasy world Dancing's different i….

I find it depressing that people think you have to be on drugs to watch [my stuff], that’s a cop out, use your brain, use your imagination..