Ogden Nash

Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We're late, darling, we're late, The curtain descends, everything ends, too soon, too soon.

I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Here's a toast to the roast that good fellowship lends, with the sparkle of beer and wine; May its sentiment always be deeper, my friends, than the foam at the top of the stein. Then here's to the heartening wassail, wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. _x000D_ You've had about seven hours of sleep since Friday. _x000D_ No wonder you feel that lost sensation. _x000D_ You're sunk from a riot of relaxation.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they don't want it.

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

No, you never get any fun_x000D_ _x000D_ Out of the things you haven't done.

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave, when they think that their children are naive.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.