Ogden Nash

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.

No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven't done.

I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world.

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after.

I think that I shall never see_x000D_ _x000D_ A billboard lovely as a tree._x000D_ _x000D_ Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,_x000D_ _x000D_ I'll never see a tree at all.

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.

My garden will never make me famous, I'm a horticultural ignoramus.

Indoors or out, no one relaxes _x000D_ In March, that month of wind and taxes, _x000D_ The wind will presently disappear, _x000D_ The taxes last us all the year.