Ten years ago she split the air To seize what she could spy Tonight she bumps against a chair, Betrayed by milky eye. She seems to pant, Time up, tim….

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of..

Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb..

A lady is known by the product she endorses..

All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart..

Some hate broccoli, some hate bacon I hate having my picture taken. How can your family claim to love you And then demand a picture of you?.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly..

There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of….

The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. Candy is dandy But liquor i….

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!.

Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo..

Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends.

I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all..

There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction..

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat..

The old men know when an old man dies..

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work..

There once was an umpire whose vision Was cause for abuse and derision He remarked in surprise, 'Why pick on my eyes? It's my heart that dictates my ….

Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited..

Snow is all right while it is snowing; it is like inebriation because it is very pleasing when it is coming, but very unpleasing when it is going..

Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't..