Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways..

Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world..

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!.

I was born a jackdaw; why should I try to be an owl?.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it..

I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine..

He without benefit of scruples - His fun and money soon quadruples..

He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more.

The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state the dog is full of love. I've also proved, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest..

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus..

One thing about the past. It's likely to last..

Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, here's a list of today's appointments, and all the flies in all the ointme….

The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take, If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wa….

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech..

Why did the Lord give use so much quickness unless it was to avoid responsibility?.

The song of canaries Never varies, And when they're moulting They're pretty revolting..

People expect old men to die, They do not really mourn old men. Old men are different. People look At them with eyes that wonder when ... People watc….

This is my dream, It is my own dream, I dreamt it. I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it..

No man is greater than his respect for sleep..

Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope..

But children, hark! Your mother would rather, When you arrived, have been your father..