Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnig….

I'd rather be a great bad poet than a good bad poet..

No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done..

A bit of talcum Is always walcum..

Abracadabra, thus we learn The more you create, the less you earn. The less you earn, the more you're given, The less you lead, the more you're dr….

One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If one's own kin and kith Were more fun to be with..

Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around..

O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comes….

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch..

The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham, and Bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig..

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor..

There is one fault that I must find With the twentieth century. And I'll put it in a couple of words; Too adventury. What I'd like would be some ….

Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We're late, darling, we're late, The curtain descends, everything ends, too soo….

I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew..

Poets arent very usefulBecause they aren't consumeful or produceful..

Then blessings on thee, my afternoon torpor Thou makest a prince of a mental porpor..

The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce..

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force..

Bankers are just like everybody else, except richer..

Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny- Have you ever tried to buy them without money?.

Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons, or Celts, Can't seem just to say anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way t….