Some one invented the telephone, And interrupted a nation's slumbers, Ringing wrong but similar numbers..

The further through life I drift the more obvious it becomes that I am lacking in thrift..

Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loi….

A lady wants to be dressed exactly like everybody else but she gets pretty up- set if she sees anybody else dressed exactly like her..

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you..

Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after..

The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but if some kind of sin you must be pursuing, Well, remember to do it by doing rather than….

There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees..

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin..

The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions is by their actions.

We love the kindly wind and hail, The jolly thunderbolt, We watch in glee the fairy trail Of ampere, watt, and volt..

The doctor gets you when you're born, The preacher, when you marry, And the lawyer lurks with costly clerks If too much on you carry. Professional me….

So Columbus said, somebody show me the sunset and somebody did and he set sail for it, And he discovered America and they put him in jail for it, And….

Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit. So here we are several billion of us, crowded into our global concentration c….

I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm..

Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like I'm in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was..

The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks Which practically conceal its sex I think it clever of the turtle In such a fix to be so fertile..

And you stagger down to break your fast. Greasy bacon and lacquered eggs And coffee composed of frigid dregs..

A bird in the open never looks Like its picture in the birdie books - Or if it once did, it has changed its plumage, And plunges you back into ignora….

When there are monsters there are miracles..

One bliss for which There is no match Is when you itch To up and scratch..