Never Refuse Wine. It is an odd but universally held opinion that anyone who doesn't drink must be an alcoholic..

The Italians have had 2,000 years to fix up the Forum and just look at the place!.

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose,….

The great thing about starting golf in your forties is that you can start golf in your forties. You can start other things in your forties but genera….

Our democracy, our culture, our whole way of life is a spectacular triumph of the blah. Why not have a political convention without politics to nomin….

Moscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter. In 1982 there was ….

Happy hour is slightly different in the Soviet Union. There are no ice cubes or orange-peel twists in the vodka. Also, it lasts all day..

If you get outside the world of show business and its satellites, there's a whole world of car nuts in the Los Angeles area..

These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper..

People shouldn't be treated like objects. They aren't that valuable..

Creative writing teachers should be purged until every last instructor who has uttered the words 'Write what you know' is confined to a labor camp. P….

Smoking crack is a way for people who couldn't afford college to study the works of Charles Darwin..

The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words..

During the mid-1980s dairy farmers decided there was too much cheap milk at the supermarket. So the government bought and slaughtered 1.6 million dai….

Then there was LSD, which was supposed to make you think you could fly. I remember it made you think you couldn't stand up, and mostly it was right..

When [George W.] Bush was elected, I think they thought I would have some sort of special "in" with that administration, to provide some sort of insi….

If libertarianism were easy to explain, and it weren't easy to exaggerate the effects of libertarianism, I think it would have been done already. Man….

The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administ….

Worshiping the earth is more fun than going to church. It's also closer..

I believe that Western civilization, after some disgusting glitches, has become almost civilized. I believe it is our first duty to protect that civi….

I arrived in the middle of a press conference - as boring a thing to sit through if you don't know the language as it is if you do..