Occupation: Comedian Birth: July 6, 1927 Death: April 24, 1997
We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for e….
In conclusion, you can see that there is a place for censors and we only wish that we could tell you where it is..
We must remember that as the centuries go by, time will pass..
Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business..
A gun is a necessity. Who knows if you're walking down a street and you spot a moose?.
Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles..
Only 10 percent of the people in the U.S. like dry wines. You shouldn't get down on people just because they like a little sugar..
Presidents tend to tinker, you know, and mess everything up..
Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'.
We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman..
I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing ….
Why should old people get [Social Security]? They just sit around all day doing nothing..
I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me..
The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that..
Worrying about the future is a thing of the past. I don't think about it..
Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with….
In America, any boy can grow up to become president. Or, if he never grows up, vice president..
Now that my wine has been served in the White House, why not me? Who could talk to farmers better than I? Somebody even asked me the other day if I h….
I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying..
In opposition to sex education: Let the kids today learn it where we did - in the gutter..
Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'Y….