We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for e….

In conclusion, you can see that there is a place for censors and we only wish that we could tell you where it is..

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business..

Wine is something to enjoy. We get sick and tired of people who pick it apart and talk about its 'saucy nuances.'.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself...and of course the boogieman..

I came down to Orange because I sold the Smothers Brothers a song called 'Chocolate,' and that gave me enough money to move down here. I was washing ….

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me..

Only a cheap politician, greedy for political gain, would try to single out one individual for blame. The fault lies not with the individual but with….

I must choose my words carefully in order to avoid any negative interpretation. Among politicians, this is a tactic known as lying..

In opposition to sex education: Let the kids today learn it where we did - in the gutter..

Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'Y….

Yeah, I'm running for the White House again. Well, it's not a run, really; it's sort of a brisk walk..

I am neither left wing nor right wing. I am middle-of-the-bird..

I like to pour my wines for people. I watch their eyes, I can see what they'll like. Most people say they don't like dry wine because they haven't ha….

Every child has a right to go to high school and end up with a third grade education..

Actually, my wine was served at the White House twice. Reagan must have been asleep when he ordered it..