Explore Quotes by Woody Allen

Until you've been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon - you've never been kissed.

Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.

All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.

A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.

I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.

Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.

Some of the best memories of my childhood that I have are the times that I played hooky from school so I could spend my days in the public library reading all the wonderful books at my disposal.

That’s one of the nice things about writing, or any art; if the thing’s real, it just lives.

A "Bay Area Bisexual" told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.

Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please.

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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.

I can't with any conscience argue for New York with anyone. It's like Calcutta. But I love the city in an emotional, irrational way, like loving your mother or your father even though they're a drunk or a thief. I've loved the city my whole life - to me, it's like a great woman.

He adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion... no, make that: he - he romanticized it all out of proportion. Yes. To him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin.

If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.

In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you've left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It's the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that's crippling you when you're trying to write.

There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.

If you're born with a gift, to behave like it's an achievement is not right.