A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

- Tom Waits

There's always free cheddar in the mousetrap, baby.

- Tom Waits

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with ha…

- Tom Waits

Once upon a time there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. And they grew next to each other. And every day the straight tree would look at the cr…

- Tom Waits

Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke…

- Tom Waits

Come down off the cross, we could use the wood.

- Tom Waits

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

- Tom Waits

The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!

- Tom Waits

Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.

- Tom Waits