Quotes on Humorous

Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."

In Paris they just simply opened their eyes and stared when we spoke to them in French! We never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Sometimes, I think the best kind of poem is one in which there is an acute balance between what is humorous and that which is very serious. That balance is very hard to strike. But it can be done.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

It is dangerous to be right in matters where established men are wrong.

Shortly after I met my mentor he asked me, ‘Mr. Rohn, how much money have you saved and invested over the last six years?’ And I said, ‘None.’ He then asked, ‘Who sold you on that plan?’

In high school, when I first heard of entropy, I was attracted to it immediately. They said that in nature all systems are breaking down, and I thought, What a wonderful thing; perhaps I can make some small contribution to this process, myself.

The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.

What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.

John you say you met in an elevator. Was the elevator going up at the time, or down? This is very important, for going down in an elevator one always has that sinking feeling and for all I know you may have this confused with love. If you were going up, it is clearly a case of love at first sight.

Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil!

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.