Quotes on Humorous

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute.

Because of its vitality, the computing field is always in desperate need of new cliches: Banality soothes our nerves.

A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

One dumb-bell, Watson! Consider an athlete with one dumb-bell. Picture to yourself the unilateral development - the imminent danger of a spinal curvature. Shocking, Watson, shocking!

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.

There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.

"I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire de coeur."

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

Part of the reason for the ugliness of adults, in a child's eyes, is that the child is usually looking upwards, and few faces are at their best when seen from below.

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is wiser not to stir them.

There is nothing the matter with Americans except their ideals. The real American is all right; it is the ideal American who is all wrong.

Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.

It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.

I was not elected to produce a pile of vetoes.

Only the shallow know themselves.

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it.