What a test that is: more than devotion, admiration, passion. If you long and long for someone’s company you love them.
Iris MurdochRead
In almost every marriage there is a selfish and an unselfish partner. A pattern is set up and soon becomes inflexible, of one person always making the demands and one person always giving way.
Interpretation
What this quote means
This quote highlights the dynamic of selfishness and selflessness in marriages.
Iris Murdoch's quote reveals a common pattern in many marriages where one partner tends to be more dominant or demanding while the other is more accommodating or self-sacrificing. This imbalance can create a rigid system in which roles become defined, potentially leading to resentment and diminishing satisfaction for both partners.
Themes
MarriageSelfishnessSelflessnessBalanceRelationshipsDynamics
In practice
Example use cases
During a marriage counseling session, a therapist could use this quote to illustrate relationship dynamics.
More from Iris Murdoch
All quotes →The bicycle is the most civilized conveyance known to man. Other forms of transport grow daily more nightmarish. Only the bicycle remains pure in heart.
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Man's creative struggle, his search for wisdom and truth, is a love story.
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All art deals with the absurd and aims at the simple. Good art speaks truth, indeed is truth, perhaps the only truth.
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A bad review is even less important than whether it is raining in Patagonia.
Iris MurdochRead
Perhaps when distant people on other planets pick up some wavelength of ours all they hear is a continuous scream.
Iris MurdochRead
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