Meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using the ego to observe and tame its own manifestations.
Mark EpsteinRead
If aspects of the person remain undigested-cut off, denied, projected, rejected, indulged, or otherwise unassimilated-they become the points around which the core forces of greed, hatred and delusion attach themselves.
Interpretation
Unacknowledged parts of ourselves can lead to negative emotions and behaviors.
In this quote, Mark Epstein suggests that when we do not accept and integrate certain aspects of ourselves—whether they be emotions, traits, or experiences—we create fertile ground for negative feelings like greed, hatred, and delusion to manifest. This highlights the importance of self-acceptance and the potential consequences when we fail to confront our inner complexities.
In practice
During a workshop on personal growth, to emphasize the need for emotional integration.
Meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using the ego to observe and tame its own manifestations.
While the primary function of formal Buddhist meditation is to create the possibility of the experience of "being," my work as a therapist has shown me that the demands of intimate life can be just as useful as meditation in moving people toward this capacity. Just as in formal meditation, intimate relationships teach us that the more we relate to each other as objects, the greater our disappointment. The trick, as in meditation, is to use this disappointment to change the way we relate.
Desire is a teacher: When we immerse ourselves in it without guilt, shame, or clinging, it can show us something special about our own minds that allows us to embrace life fully.
It is exceedingly difficult to maintain a sense of absence without turning that absence into some kind of presence
It’s one of my theories that when people give you advice, they’re really just talking to themselves in the past.
We are looking for a way to feel more real, but we do not realize that to feel more real we have to push ourselves further into the unknown.
Everyone knows nowadays that people 'have complexes'. What is not so well known, though far more important theoretically, is that complexes can have us.
The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.
This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
When you're good at controlling your own emotions, you can disguise your true feelings. When you know what others are feeling, you can tug at their heartstrings and motivate them to act against their own best interests.
Time perspective is one of the most powerful influences on all of human behavior. We're trying to show how people become biased to being exclusively past-, present- or future-oriented.
The fact is that people are good, Give people affection and security, and they will give affection and be secure in their feelings and their behavior.
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