Meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using the ego to observe and tame its own manifestations.
Mark EpsteinRead
If aspects of the person remain undigested-cut off, denied, projected, rejected, indulged, or otherwise unassimilated-they become the points around which the core forces of greed, hatred and delusion attach themselves.
Interpretation
Unacknowledged parts of ourselves can lead to negative emotions and behaviors.
In this quote, Mark Epstein suggests that when we do not accept and integrate certain aspects of ourselves—whether they be emotions, traits, or experiences—we create fertile ground for negative feelings like greed, hatred, and delusion to manifest. This highlights the importance of self-acceptance and the potential consequences when we fail to confront our inner complexities.
In practice
During a workshop on personal growth, to emphasize the need for emotional integration.
Meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using the ego to observe and tame its own manifestations.
While the primary function of formal Buddhist meditation is to create the possibility of the experience of "being," my work as a therapist has shown me that the demands of intimate life can be just as useful as meditation in moving people toward this capacity. Just as in formal meditation, intimate relationships teach us that the more we relate to each other as objects, the greater our disappointment. The trick, as in meditation, is to use this disappointment to change the way we relate.
Desire is a teacher: When we immerse ourselves in it without guilt, shame, or clinging, it can show us something special about our own minds that allows us to embrace life fully.
It is exceedingly difficult to maintain a sense of absence without turning that absence into some kind of presence
It’s one of my theories that when people give you advice, they’re really just talking to themselves in the past.
We are looking for a way to feel more real, but we do not realize that to feel more real we have to push ourselves further into the unknown.
They don’t need walls and water to keep the prisoners in, not when they’re trapped inside their own heads, incapable of a single cheerful thought. Most go mad within weeks - Lupin
Psychologists and economists love to talk about the notion of two selves: present self and future self. It's a nice way to explain the tendency to have one preference about the future, but a very different preference when the future becomes the present.
The great thing about behavioural psychology and economics is that they help us to see that there are actually pretty good reasons why human beings swing from greed to fear, and why we're not really calculating machines or utility-maximisers.
When you're good at controlling your own emotions, you can disguise your true feelings. When you know what others are feeling, you can tug at their heartstrings and motivate them to act against their own best interests.
The ideal of behaviorism is to eliminate coercion: to apply controls by changing the environment in such a way as to reinforce the kind of behavior that benefits everyone.
Wherever an inferiority complex exists, there is a good reason for it.
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