Meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using the ego to observe and tame its own manifestations.
Mark EpsteinRead
If aspects of the person remain undigested-cut off, denied, projected, rejected, indulged, or otherwise unassimilated-they become the points around which the core forces of greed, hatred and delusion attach themselves.
Interpretation
Unacknowledged parts of ourselves can lead to negative emotions and behaviors.
In this quote, Mark Epstein suggests that when we do not accept and integrate certain aspects of ourselves—whether they be emotions, traits, or experiences—we create fertile ground for negative feelings like greed, hatred, and delusion to manifest. This highlights the importance of self-acceptance and the potential consequences when we fail to confront our inner complexities.
In practice
During a workshop on personal growth, to emphasize the need for emotional integration.
Meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using the ego to observe and tame its own manifestations.
While the primary function of formal Buddhist meditation is to create the possibility of the experience of "being," my work as a therapist has shown me that the demands of intimate life can be just as useful as meditation in moving people toward this capacity. Just as in formal meditation, intimate relationships teach us that the more we relate to each other as objects, the greater our disappointment. The trick, as in meditation, is to use this disappointment to change the way we relate.
Desire is a teacher: When we immerse ourselves in it without guilt, shame, or clinging, it can show us something special about our own minds that allows us to embrace life fully.
It is exceedingly difficult to maintain a sense of absence without turning that absence into some kind of presence
It’s one of my theories that when people give you advice, they’re really just talking to themselves in the past.
We are looking for a way to feel more real, but we do not realize that to feel more real we have to push ourselves further into the unknown.
Wherever an inferiority complex exists, there is a good reason for it.
Many psychoanalysts refused to let me speak at their meetings. They were exceptionally vigorous because I had previously been an analyst and they were very angry at my flying the coop.
I think the relationship between social-dominance orientation in people and the extent to which they're made uncomfortable by ambiguity and novelty is really important. Better a stable world that's familiar, in which I'm doing pretty poorly, than dealing with all the ambiguity of a changing world.
Groups tend to be more extreme than individuals.
The conflict between the will to deny horrible events and the will to proclaim them aloud is the central dialectic of psychological trauma.
Cognitive therapy is based on the idea that when you change the way you think, you can change the way you feel and behave. In other words, if we can learn to think about other people in a more positive and realistic way, it will be far easier to resolve conflicts and develop rewarding personal and professional relationships.
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