Meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using the ego to observe and tame its own manifestations.
It is exceedingly difficult to maintain a sense of absence without turning that absence into some kind of presence
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote suggests that it's challenging to recognize and accept what is missing in our lives without it influencing our thoughts or feelings.
Mark Epstein's quote highlights the struggle of dealing with absence in our lives. It emphasizes that acknowledging what is lacking, whether it pertains to relationships, opportunities, or emotions, often transforms that absence into a palpable presence in our psyche. Instead of merely recognizing emptiness, we may unconsciously begin to dwell on it, allowing it to affect our mood and perspective. This exploration of absence and presence invites us to reflect on how our thoughts shape our emotional landscape.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a discussion about grief, this quote can be shared to illustrate the complexity of mourning.
More from Mark Epstein
All quotes →While the primary function of formal Buddhist meditation is to create the possibility of the experience of "being," my work as a therapist has shown me that the demands of intimate life can be just as useful as meditation in moving people toward this capacity. Just as in formal meditation, intimate relationships teach us that the more we relate to each other as objects, the greater our disappointment. The trick, as in meditation, is to use this disappointment to change the way we relate.
Desire is a teacher: When we immerse ourselves in it without guilt, shame, or clinging, it can show us something special about our own minds that allows us to embrace life fully.
If aspects of the person remain undigested-cut off, denied, projected, rejected, indulged, or otherwise unassimilated-they become the points around which the core forces of greed, hatred and delusion attach themselves.
It’s one of my theories that when people give you advice, they’re really just talking to themselves in the past.
We are looking for a way to feel more real, but we do not realize that to feel more real we have to push ourselves further into the unknown.
Similar quotes
Were the stars out when I left the house last evening? All I could remember was the couple in the Skyline listening to Duran Duran. Stars? Who remembers stars? Come to think of it, had I even looked up at the sky recently? Had the stars been wiped out of the sky three months ago, I wouldn’t have known.
The entire life of a good Christian is in fact an exercise of holy desire. You do not yet see what you long for, but the very act of desiring prepares you, so that when he comes you may see and be utterly satisfied.
Freedom of speech and freedom of action are meaningless without freedom to think. And there is no freedom of thought without doubt.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown Till human voices wake us... and we drown.
My dear, I used to think I was serving humanity . . . and I pleasured in the thought. Then I discovered that humanity does not want to be served; on the contrary it resents any attempt to serve it. So now I do what pleases myself.
Generally in war the best policy is to take a state intact; to ruin it is inferior to this.