Meditation is not a means of forgetting the ego; it is a method of using the ego to observe and tame its own manifestations.
It is exceedingly difficult to maintain a sense of absence without turning that absence into some kind of presence
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote suggests that it's challenging to recognize and accept what is missing in our lives without it influencing our thoughts or feelings.
Mark Epstein's quote highlights the struggle of dealing with absence in our lives. It emphasizes that acknowledging what is lacking, whether it pertains to relationships, opportunities, or emotions, often transforms that absence into a palpable presence in our psyche. Instead of merely recognizing emptiness, we may unconsciously begin to dwell on it, allowing it to affect our mood and perspective. This exploration of absence and presence invites us to reflect on how our thoughts shape our emotional landscape.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a discussion about grief, this quote can be shared to illustrate the complexity of mourning.
More from Mark Epstein
All quotes βWhile the primary function of formal Buddhist meditation is to create the possibility of the experience of "being," my work as a therapist has shown me that the demands of intimate life can be just as useful as meditation in moving people toward this capacity. Just as in formal meditation, intimate relationships teach us that the more we relate to each other as objects, the greater our disappointment. The trick, as in meditation, is to use this disappointment to change the way we relate.
Desire is a teacher: When we immerse ourselves in it without guilt, shame, or clinging, it can show us something special about our own minds that allows us to embrace life fully.
If aspects of the person remain undigested-cut off, denied, projected, rejected, indulged, or otherwise unassimilated-they become the points around which the core forces of greed, hatred and delusion attach themselves.
Itβs one of my theories that when people give you advice, theyβre really just talking to themselves in the past.
We are looking for a way to feel more real, but we do not realize that to feel more real we have to push ourselves further into the unknown.
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When the buying stops, the killing can too.
Nothing [the demon] could think up was half as bad as the stuff [people] thought up themselves. They seemed to have a talent for it. It was built into their design somehow. They were born into a world that was against them in a thousand little ways, and then devoted most of their energies to making it worse.
Everything is integral and interacts with everything else. This means that nothing is itself without everything else. There is a commonality, an integrity, an intimacy of the universe with itself.
Language comes first. It's not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven't got language, you can't be conscious.
There would be more sense in insisting on man's limitations because he cannot be a mother than on a woman's because she can be.
You train yourself in the art of being mysterious to everyone. My dear friend! What if there were no one, who cared about guessing your riddle, what pleasure would you then take in it?