Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Sayings, and Wise Words for Daily Inspiration

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I went to the butchers to buy a leg of lamb. "Is it Scotch?", I asked. "Why?" the butcher said in reply. "Are you going to talk to it or eat it?". "In that case, have you got any wild duck?". "No", he responded, "but I've got one I could aggravate for you."

Chic Murray's Popular Quotes

My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

- Chic Murray

The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil.

- Chic Murray

I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and c…

- Chic Murray

The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder.

- Chic Murray

I was taking my dog out the other day and I met this chap who asked me where I was going. The dog is foaming at the mouth, so I explained that I was …

- Chic Murray

We've got stained glass windows in our house; it's those damned pigeons.

- Chic Murray

She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.

- Chic Murray

A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.

- Chic Murray

My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off.

- Chic Murray