I saw a charity appeal in the Guardian the other day, and it read "Little Zuki has to walk 13 miles a day just to fetch water". And I couldn't help thinking, she should move.
If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids. - Jimmy Carr
If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.
- Jimmy Carr
Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other. - Jimmy Carr
Boxers don't have sex before a fight. Do you know why that is? They don't fancy each other.
My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetari… - Jimmy Carr
My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetari…
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?" - Jimmy Carr
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes. - Jimmy Carr
Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes.
I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand. - Jimmy Carr
I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.
My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door … - Jimmy Carr
My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through the bedroom door …
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. - Jimmy Carr
My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray! - Jimmy Carr
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!
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