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Your children live or die without you. No matter what we do, no matter how we agonize or obsess, we cannot choose for our children whether they live or die. It's a devastating realization, but liberating.
David Sheff
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Parents cannot control the ultimate fate of their children, which can be both heartbreaking and freeing.

This quote highlights the harsh reality that parents have limited control over their children's lives and the experiences they will encounter. While the thought of their children's wellbeing can lead to anxiety and obsession, recognizing this truth can also be liberating, as it encourages parents to focus on nurturing their children rather than trying to shield them from every possible risk.

Themes

ChildrenParentingControlLifeLiberation

In practice

Example use cases

In a speech about the importance of letting children make their own choices.

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Relapse is very dangerous. However, relapse can be a symptom of the disease. Sometimes there are multiple relapses before you get sober and stay sober.
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If you subscribe to the idea that #β€Ž addiction is a disease, it is startling to see how many of these children - paranoid, anxious, bruised, tremulous, withered, in some cases psychotic - are seriously ill, slowly dying. We'd never allow such a scene if these kids had any other disease. They would be in a hospital, not on the streets.
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This stigma associated with drug use--the belief that bad kids use, good kids don't, and those with full-blown addiction are weak, dissolute, and pathetic--has contributed to the escalation of use and has hampered treatment more than any single other factor.
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Anyone who has lived through it, or those who are now living through it, knows that caring about an addict is as complex and fraught and debilitating as addiction itself.
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Through Nic's drug addiction, I have learned that parents can bear almost anything....I shock myself with my ability to rationalize and tolerate things once unthinkable. The rationalizations escalate....It's only marijuana. He gets high only on weekends. At least he's not using hard drugs.
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Quote by David Sheff | QuoteProject