I gambled at the crap table all night and finally lost $8, but during that time the house gave me four drinks and two cigars, so it was still a lot cheaper than renting a room.
I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like... well, Eichmann maybe. - Jack Benny
I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like... well, Eichmann maybe.
- Jack Benny
I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian. - Jack Benny
I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.
When you talk about the world's greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank… - Jack Benny
When you talk about the world's greatest entertainer you have to say Al Jolson because there was no one like him. Only Judy Garland and perhaps Frank…
I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now. - Jack Benny
I began my show business career playing violin in San Francisco at the corner of Market and Taylor. I understand that there is a theater there now.
Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents - that's my kind of guy. - Jack Benny
Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents - that's my kind of guy.
Gags die, humor doesn't. - Jack Benny
Gags die, humor doesn't.
I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too. - Jack Benny
I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it. - Jack Benny
When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.
I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs. - Jack Benny
I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.
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