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In a family, what isn't spoken is what you listen for. But the noise of a family is to drown it out.
Joyce Carol Oates
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Interpretation

What this quote means

This quote highlights the unspoken emotions and tensions within a family, suggesting that communication is often overshadowed by superficial noise.

Joyce Carol Oates points out that within family dynamics, there are significant emotions and truths that remain unexpressed, and it is this silent communication that we are attuned to. However, the everyday sounds and distractions of family life often serve to mask these deeper feelings, making it difficult to truly listen and understand each other.

Themes

FamilyCommunicationSilenceEmotionsDynamics

In practice

Example use cases

In a speech about the importance of family connections, one might say, 'As Joyce Carol Oates observes, in a family, what isn't spoken is what you listen for.'

More from Joyce Carol Oates

Of the widow's countless death-duties there is really just one that matters: on the first anniversary of her husband's death the widow should think I kept myself alive.
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I never really knew I wanted to 'be' a writer, but I was always writing from a very young age. It became more conscious as an ideal when I was in my twenties.
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I'm drawn to write about upstate New York in the way in which a dreamer might have recurring dreams. My childhood and girlhood were spent in upstate New York, in the country north of Buffalo and West of Rochester. So this part of New York state is very familiar to me and, with its economic difficulties, has become emblematic of much of American life.
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My writing is often a way of 'bearing witness' for others who lack the education and the opportunity to tell their own stories, so I hope that my writing won't be affected too much by my personal life.
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The worst cynicism: a belief in luck.
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. . . there is a wish in the heart of mankind to be distracted and confused. Truth is but one attraction, and not always the most powerful.
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