My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He sold it to me on his deathbed. I wrote him a cheque for it, post dated of course.
I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and c… - Chic Murray
I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it flew down a hill around a bend and c…
- Chic Murray
My parents never understood me; they were Japanese. - Chic Murray
My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.
The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil. - Chic Murray
The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil.
The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder. - Chic Murray
The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder.
I was taking my dog out the other day and I met this chap who asked me where I was going. The dog is foaming at the mouth, so I explained that I was … - Chic Murray
I was taking my dog out the other day and I met this chap who asked me where I was going. The dog is foaming at the mouth, so I explained that I was …
She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right. - Chic Murray
She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.
We've got stained glass windows in our house; it's those damned pigeons. - Chic Murray
We've got stained glass windows in our house; it's those damned pigeons.
A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on. - Chic Murray
A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.
My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off. - Chic Murray
My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off.
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