Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children.

- Sam Levenson

Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.

- Sam Levenson

Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.

- Sam Levenson

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

- Sam Levenson

The reason God made man before woman was that he didn't want any suggestions.

- Sam Levenson

Life begins at forty, but so does arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same person.

- Sam Levenson

We may not always see eye to eye, but we can try to see heart to heart.

- Sam Levenson

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

- Sam Levenson

I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!

- Sam Levenson