If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”? - Steven Wright
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
- Steven Wright
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. - Steven Wright
Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. - Steven Wright
Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter. - Steven Wright
I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong? - Steven Wright
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese - Steven Wright
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before. - Steven Wright
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there? - Steven Wright
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. - Steven Wright
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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