When the sage points at the moon, all that the idiot sees is the finger.
In many ways we were drugged when we were young. We were brought up to need people. For what? For acceptance, approval, appreciation, applause.
Interpretation
What this quote means
The quote suggests that societal conditioning makes us dependent on others for validation and acceptance.
Anthony De Mello's quote reflects on the concept of emotional dependence that is cultivated in individuals during their upbringing. He argues that society instills a desire for external validation—such as acceptance, approval, appreciation, and applause—which can lead to a form of psychological 'drugging' that obscures our true selves and our intrinsic worth. This dependency can hinder personal growth and self-acceptance, emphasizing the need to break free from these societal constructs.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a motivational speech about self-acceptance, you can use this quote to highlight the importance of valuing oneself over seeking approval from others.
More from Anthony De Mello
All quotes →Perfect love casts out fear. Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you. If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself; I enjoy your company immensely, but I do not cling.
The master never seemed to have his fill of gazing at his firstborn child. "What do you want him to be when he grows up?" someone asked. "Outrageously happy," said the master.
The genius of a composer is found in the notes of his music; but analyzing the notes will not reveal his genius. The poet's greatness is contained in his words; yet the study of his words will not disclose his inspiration. God reveals himself in creation; but scrutinize creation as minutely as you wish, you will not find God, any more than you will find the soul through careful examination of your body.
What is a loving heart? A loving heart is sensitive to the whole of life, to all persons; a loving heart doesn't harden itself to any persons or things.
Problems only exist in the human mind.
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I had become, with the approach of night, once more aware of loneliness and time - those two companions without whom no journey can yield us anything.
Culture is the collective programming of the mind which distinguishes the members of one group from another.
A screaming comes across the sky. It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.
It is often argued that religion is valuable because it makes men good, but even if this were true it would not be a proof that religion is true. That would be an extension of pragmatism beyond endurance. Santa Claus makes children good in precisely the same way, and yet no one would argue seriously that the fact proves his existence. The defense of religion is full of such logical imbecilities.
I tell people, and it's the truth, I could sit in my garage for a week and it won't make me a car. And you can sit in church till your bottom is flat and that won't make you a servant of Christ.
What the whole community comes to believe in grasps the individual as in a vise.