Contrary to popular belief, it's not the legs that go first; it's remembering the word for legs.

- Larry Gelbart

You can write something that has continuity, but it makes happy endings all the more ridiculous.

- Larry Gelbart

We may be born equal but we're not equally talented.

- Larry Gelbart

Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be, let me tell you. Honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.

- Larry Gelbart

Today's audience knows more about what's on television than what's in life.

- Larry Gelbart

I think the greatest imagination we can exercise is one that imagines how someone else feels. Because you know how you feel, but so often we attribut…

- Larry Gelbart

I refuse to do anything easy. I'm writing for the smartest person out there. I'm not equating myself with the smartest person out there, but hopefull…

- Larry Gelbart

I love to play with language; make it do tricks, turn a word inside out to see if it's got a hidden meaning tucked away somewhere, or perhaps find th…

- Larry Gelbart

Your style is formed by what you can't do.

- Larry Gelbart