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Mature love is loving, not being loved.
Irvin D. Yalom
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Mature love emphasizes selfless giving rather than seeking validation or affection in return.

This quote by Irvin D. Yalom highlights the essence of mature love, which is characterized not by the desire for being loved, but by the act of loving itself. In mature love, individuals prioritize the wellbeing and happiness of their partner over their own need for affection, suggesting that true love is about commitment and connection rather than a transactional exchange of feelings.

Themes

Mature LoveSelflessnessAffectionCommitmentConnection

In practice

Example use cases

In a wedding speech, highlighting the importance of selfless love in a successful marriage.

More from Irvin D. Yalom

He had learned long ago that, in general, the easier it was for anxious patients to reach him, the less likely they were to call. (107)
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A curious thought experiment. . . Nietzsche's message to us was to live life in such a way that we would be willing to repeat the same life eternally
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A sense of life meaning ensues but cannot be deliberately pursued: life meaning is always a derivative phenomenon that materializes when we have transcended ourselves, when we have forgotten ourselves and become absorbed in someone (or something) outside ourselves
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Marriage and its entourage of possession and jealousy enslave the spirit.
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It is wrong to bear children out of need, wrong to use a child to alleviate loneliness, wrong to provide purpose in life by reproducing another copy of oneself. It is wrong also to seek immortality by spewing one's germ into the future as though sperm contains your consciousness!
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Life is a spark between two identical voids, the darkness before birth and the one after death.
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