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Men They hail you as their morning star Because you are the way you are. If you return the sentiment, They'll try to make you different; And once they have you, safe and sound, They want to change you all around. Your moods and ways they put a curse on; They'd make of you another person. They cannot let you go your gait; They influence and educate. They'd alter all that they admired. They make me sick, they make me tired.
Dorothy Parker
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Interpretation

What this quote means

People often admire and idealize others but seek to change them once they become close.

This quote by Dorothy Parker reflects the struggle individuals face in relationships when others project their expectations and desires onto them. Initially, someone may be celebrated for their unique qualities, but as the relationship evolves, there is often pressure to conform or change to meet those expectations. This paradox highlights the tension between admiration and acceptance of individuality in interpersonal dynamics.

Themes

RelationshipsChangeIndividualityExpectationsIdentity

In practice

Example use cases

During a workshop on personal growth, one might use this quote to discuss the importance of authenticity.

More from Dorothy Parker

There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.
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My land is bare of chattering folk; / the clouds are low along the ridges, / and sweet's the air with curly smoke / from all my burning bridges.
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Prince or commoner, tenor or bass, Painter or plumber or never-do-well, Do me a favor and shut your face - Poets alone should kiss and tell.
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They say of me, and so they should, It's doubtful if I come to good. I see acquaintances and friends Accumulating dividends And making enviable names In science, art and parlor games. But I, despite expert advice, Keep doing things I think are nice, And though to good I never come Inseparable my nose and thumb.
Dorothy ParkerRead
It is that word 'hunny,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
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I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
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