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We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. The more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don't accept others the way they are.
Miguel Angel Ruiz
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Self-love is essential for acceptance and reduces self-abuse stemming from unrealistic perfectionism.

This quote emphasizes the importance of self-love as a fundamental aspect of our emotional well-being. Miguel Angel Ruiz argues that many people struggle with self-rejection due to an unattainable image of perfection, leading to a cycle of self-abuse. When individuals cultivate self-love, they learn to accept themselves and, in turn, are more capable of accepting others, fostering healthier relationships.

Themes

Self-LoveAcceptancePerfectionSelf-RejectionRelationships

In practice

Example use cases

This quote can be used as a reminder during a workshop on self-acceptance.

More from Miguel Angel Ruiz

We have a tendency to make assumptions about everything! The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are truth. We could swear they are real. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking-we take it personally-then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison in our word. That is why whenever we make assumptions, we're asking for problems. We make assumptions, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.
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...What you are is a force--a force that makes it possible for your body to live, a force that makes it possible for your whole mind to dream...You are life
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What you will see is love coming out of the trees, love coming out of the sky, love coming out of the light. You will perceive love from everything around you. This is the state of bliss.
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Humans punish themselves endlessly for not being what they believe they should be. They become very self-abusive, and they use other people to abuse themselves as well.
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When we try to describe the truth with words, we distort it and it's no longer truth--it's our story. The story may be true for us, but that doesn't mean it's true for anyone else.
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When we believe in lies, we cannot see the truth, so we make thousands of assumptions and we take them as truth. One of the biggest assumptions we make is that the lies we believe are the truth!
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