When correctly viewed, everything is lewd.

- Tom Lehrer

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

- Tom Lehrer

If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have b…

- Tom Lehrer

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

- Tom Lehrer

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

- Tom Lehrer

You cant be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

- Tom Lehrer

Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.

- Tom Lehrer

Irreverence is easy - whats hard is wit.

- Tom Lehrer

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

- Tom Lehrer