What is faithfulness, anyway? Can you be unfaithful to your own feelings and faithful to someone else? Is it faithful to lie in bed night after night with someone you love but no longer desire while ardently dreaming of someone else?
A sad person who is so involved with his sadness that he mistakes it for reality will have a hard time seeing himself as anything but sad. For him, the sadness is not a feeling that he experiences - it is him.
Interpretation
What this quote means
Sadness can become an identity for those who are deeply entrenched in it, making it difficult to see oneself beyond that feeling.
This quote by Mary Gaitskill delves into the nature of sadness as an emotion that can consume an individual so entirely that it transforms into a core part of their identity. When a person is overwhelmed by their sadness, it can cloud their perception of reality, leading them to believe they are defined by this feeling rather than merely experiencing it. This highlights the importance of recognizing emotions as transient, rather than static states of being.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
A therapist might use this quote to help a client understand the distinction between sadness as a feeling and sadness as an identity.
More from Mary Gaitskill
All quotes →Sometimes I write from the point of view of characters whom I would dislike as people, not as a perverse exercise, but because this cracks the story open and makes me see it in a way I would not see it naturally.
What are you thinking?” She asks. -That you are beautiful. That not everyone could see it. I almost became the kind of person who could not.
Similar quotes
He who is false to the present duty breaks a thread in the loom, and you will see the effect when the weaving of a life-time is unraveled.
If a thing is old, it is a sign that it was fit to live. Old families, old customs, old styles survive because they are fit to survive. The guarantee of continuity is quality. Submerge the good in a flood of the new, and good will come back to join the good which the new brings with it. Old-fashioned hospitality, old-fashioned politeness, old-fashioned honor in business had qualities of survival. These will come back.
Intelligence is quickness to apprehend as distinct form ability, which is capacity to act wisely on the thing apprehended.
Moving, be like water. Still, be like a mirror. Respond like an echo.
If you come on a band tense, you're going to play tense. If you come a little bit foolish, act just a little bit foolish, and let yourself go, better ideas will come.
A brain is only capable of what it could conceive, andit couldnt concieve what it hasnt experienced