Invitation is not only a step in bringing people together, it is also a fundamental way of being in a community. It manifests the willingness to live in a collaborative way. This means that a future can be created without having to force or sell it or barter for it. When we believe that barter or subtle coercion is necessary, we are operating out of a context of scarcity and self-interest, the core currencies of the economist.
Advice is unfriendly to learning, especially when it is sought. Most of the time when people seek advice, they just want to be heard. Advice at best stops the conversation, definitely inhibits learning, and at worst claims dominance.
Interpretation
What this quote means
This quote highlights the paradox of seeking advice, suggesting that it may hinder true learning and communication.
Peter Block's quote emphasizes that when individuals seek advice, they often are not looking for guidance but rather a space to express their thoughts and be listened to. The act of giving advice can disrupt the natural conversation flow, potentially stifling deeper understanding and preventing personal insights from emerging, and in some cases, it can create a dynamic where the advisor is seen as more knowledgeable, thus claiming dominance in the interaction.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a workshop about leadership, one might use this quote to emphasize the importance of listening over simply giving directives.
More from Peter Block
All quotes →Relationship and connectedness are the pre-condition for change. Every meeting, every process, every training program has to get people connected first. Otherwise the content falls on deaf ears. So small groups are an essential building block to any future you want to create.
Good questions work on us, we don't work on them. They are not a project to be completed but a doorway opening onto greater depth of understanding, actions that will take us into being more fully alive.
The goal is to balance a life that works with a life that counts.
How do you change the world? One room at a time. Which room? The one you're in.
We need to tell people not to be helpful. Trying to be helpful and giving advise are really ways to control others. ... Advice, recommendations, and obvious actions are exactly what increase the likelihood that tomorrow will be just like yesterday.
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Knowing how to fight made men more bold, because no one fears doing what it seems to him he has learned to do. Therefore, the ancients wanted their citizens to be trained in every warlike action.
What is called honors and dignities, and even honor and dignity, is generally fool's gold.
It's not all bad. Heightened self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad. Those devils have been my angels. Without them I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me.
We frequently find that the influence of good women is underrated. It is an influence that is often subtle but yet has tremendous consequences. One woman can make a great difference for a whole nation.