QuoteProject
In short, no association or alliance can be happy or stable without me. People can't long tolerate a ruler, nor can a master his servant, a maid her mistress, a teacher his pupil, a friend his friend nor a wife her husband, a landlord his tenant, a soldier his comrade nor a party-goer his companion, unless they sometimes have illusions about each other, make use of flattery, and have the sense to turn a blind eye and sweeten life for themselves with the honey of folly.
Desiderius Erasmus
ShareWTF𝕏

Interpretation

What this quote means

Healthy relationships often rely on a degree of deception and idealization to maintain happiness and stability.

This quote by Desiderius Erasmus conveys the idea that human relationships—whether between rulers and subjects, friends, or spouses—cannot survive the harsh truths of reality for long. People thrive on illusions and flattery, suggesting that a small amount of self-deception or overlooking flaws can contribute to the sweetness and satisfaction of life and relationships. The 'honey of folly' represents how minor deceptions can enhance our interpersonal bonds, allowing us to coexist more harmoniously.

Themes

RelationshipsIllusionFlatteryHappinessStability

In practice

Example use cases

In a relationship seminar to motivate couples to appreciate their partners' imperfections.

More from Desiderius Erasmus

The entire world is my temple, and a very fine one too, if I'm not mistaken, and I'll never lack priests to serve it as long as there are men.
Desiderius ErasmusRead
When I get a little money I buy books; and if any is left I buy food and clothes.
Desiderius ErasmusRead
You'll see certain Pythagorean whose belief in communism of property goes to such lengths that they pick up anything lying about unguarded, and make off with it without a qualm of conscience as if it had come to them by law.
Desiderius ErasmusRead
[N]o party is any fun unless seasoned with folly.
Desiderius ErasmusRead
If you look at history you'll find that no state has been so plagued by its rulers as when power has fallen into the hands of some dabbler in philosophy or literary addict.
Desiderius ErasmusRead
Fortune favours the audacious.
Desiderius ErasmusRead

Similar quotes

A lonely man is a lonesome thing, a stone, a bone, a stick, a receptacle for Gilbey's gin, a stooped figure sitting at the edge of a hotel bed, heaving copious sighs like the autumn wind.
John CheeverRead
When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.
Martin BuberRead
The reason that I'm here at all is because of my relationship with my family and their encouragement of me to be a musician and to work hard. As long as I stay there in that space, I can do anything. That's my truth.
Lady GagaRead
In all our contacts it is probably the sense of being really needed and wanted which gives us the greatest satisfaction and creates the most lasting bond.
Eleanor RooseveltRead
Here's a thing about the death of your mother, or anyone else you love: You can't anticipate how you'll feel afterward. People will tell you; a few may be close to right, none exactly right.
Mary SchmichRead
Why was she always so craven, so apologetic? He had always seen Ruth as separate, good and untainted. As a child, his parents had appeared to him as starkly black and white, the one bad and frightening, the other good and kind. Yet as he had grown older, he kept coming up hard in his mind against Ruth's willing blindness, to her constant apologia for his father, to the unshakeable allegiance to her false idol.
J. K. RowlingRead

A little wisdom, now and then

Subscribe for the occasional hand-picked quote. No noise.