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Endeavoring to purchase something we think beautiful may in fact be the most unimaginative way of dealing with the longing it excites in us, just as trying to sleep with someone may be the bluntest response to a feeling of love.
Alain De Botton
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Interpretation

What this quote means

The quote suggests that seeking beauty or intimacy often misses the deeper emotions behind our desires.

Alain De Botton's quote reflects on the human tendency to satisfy emotional cravings through superficial means, such as acquiring beautiful objects or pursuing romantic encounters. He argues that both actions may lack creativity and fail to address the underlying feelings of longing that motivate us, inviting a deeper exploration of our emotions beyond mere physical expression or consumption.

Themes

DesireLoveBeautyLongingSuperficiality

In practice

Example use cases

This quote is perfect for a discussion on the nature of desire in a psychology class.

More from Alain De Botton

It is in books, poems, paintings which often give us the confidence to take seriously feelings in ourselves that we might otherwise never have thought to acknowledge.
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Taking architecture seriously therefore makes some singular and strenuous demands upon us...It means conceding that we are inconveniently vulnerable to the colour of our wallpaper and that our sense of purpose may be derailed by an unfortunate bedspread
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The more closely we analyze what we consider 'sexy,' the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.
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Good books put a finger on emotions that are deeply our own - but that we could never have described on our own.
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The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other's smartphone.
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It is the most ambitious and driven among us who are the most sorely in need of having our reckless hopes dampened through immersive dousings in the darkness which religions have explored. This is a particular priority for secular Americans, perhaps the most anxious and disappointed people on earth, for their nation infuses them with the most extreme hopes about what they may be able to achieve in their working lives and relationships.
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