I was walking down the street, and I found a man's hand in my pocket. I asked, "What do you want?" "A match" "Why didn't you ask me?" "I don't talk to strangers."
When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing. - Henny Youngman
When it comes to work, there are many who will stop at nothing.
- Henny Youngman
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock. - Henny Youngman
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone i… - Henny Youngman
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, "Where are you going?" My wife said, "I must be late, everyone i…
2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!" - Henny Youngman
2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!"
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. - Henny Youngman
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
My wife has a black belt in shopping. - Henny Youngman
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed? - Henny Youngman
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are. - Henny Youngman
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it. - Henny Youngman
I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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