It is in books, poems, paintings which often give us the confidence to take seriously feelings in ourselves that we might otherwise never have thought to acknowledge.
Sweetness is the opposite of machismo, which is everywhere-and I really don't get on with machismo. I'm interested in sensitivity, and weakness, and fear, and anxiety, because I think that, at the end of the day, behind our masks, that's what we are.
Interpretation
What this quote means
True strength lies in embracing vulnerability and sensitivity rather than traditional notions of masculinity.
In this quote, Alain De Botton contrasts the often celebrated traits associated with machismo, such as strength and toughness, with the value of experiencing and expressing emotions like fear, anxiety, and sensitivity. He suggests that beneath societal expectations and 'masks' people wear, we are inherently vulnerable, and acknowledging this vulnerability is essential to understanding our true selves and forming genuine connections with others.
Themes
In practice
Example use cases
In a speech about mental health awareness, this quote can highlight the importance of acknowledging emotional struggles.
More from Alain De Botton
All quotes →Taking architecture seriously therefore makes some singular and strenuous demands upon us...It means conceding that we are inconveniently vulnerable to the colour of our wallpaper and that our sense of purpose may be derailed by an unfortunate bedspread
The more closely we analyze what we consider 'sexy,' the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence.
Good books put a finger on emotions that are deeply our own - but that we could never have described on our own.
The challenge of modern relationships: how to prove more interesting than the other's smartphone.
It is the most ambitious and driven among us who are the most sorely in need of having our reckless hopes dampened through immersive dousings in the darkness which religions have explored. This is a particular priority for secular Americans, perhaps the most anxious and disappointed people on earth, for their nation infuses them with the most extreme hopes about what they may be able to achieve in their working lives and relationships.
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The frustrating part of being tagged 'controversial' is people go looking for trouble where there isn't any to look for.
At death we cross from one territory to another, but we'll have no trouble with visas. Our representative is already there, preparing for our arrival. As citizens of heaven, our entrance is incontestable.
Man hath still either toys or care: But hath no root, nor to one place is tied, but ever restless and irregular, about this earth doth run and ride. He knows he hath a home, but scarce knows where; He says it is so far, that he has quite forgot how to go there.
No writing on the solitary, meditative dimensions of life can say anything that has not already been said better by the wind in the pine trees.
He had fought back with every weapon in his arsenal, being alternatively obtuse, evasive and pedantic, for it was wonderful how you could obscure an emotional issue by appearing to seek precision.
Man... cannot learn to forget, but hangs on the past: however far or fast he runs, that chain runs with him.