TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.
Interpretation
This quote humorously describes a tail as an entity that has evolved to live independently from the body.
Ambrose Bierce uses wit to characterize a tail in a way that personifies it, suggesting that it has developed its own identity separate from the animal it belongs to. This reflection on a seemingly simple aspect of anatomy encourages us to think about the bizarre and humorous realities of life, where even parts of a creature can seem to have their own purpose or existence.
In practice
In a lighthearted speech about accepting quirks, one might say, 'Like a tail, sometimes the parts of us that seem separate can enrich our lives.'
PALM, n. A species of tree . . . of which the familiar "itching palm" ("Palma hominis") is most widely distributed . . . . This noble vegetable exudes a kind of invisible gum, which may be detected by applying to the bark a piece of gold or silver.
Human nature is pretty well balanced; for every lacking virtue there is a rough substitute that will serve at a pinch--as cunning is the wisdom of the unwise, and ferocity the courage of the coward.
Indigestion: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the Western Wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: 'Plenty well, no pray; big belly ache, heap God.'
Disobey n:To celebrate with an appropriate ceremony the maturity of a command
NOUMENON, n. That which exists, as distinguished from that which merely seems to exist, the latter being a phenomenon. The noumenon is a bit difficult to locate; it can be apprehended only by a process of reasoning - which is a phenomenon.
PARDON, v. To remit a penalty and restore to the life of crime. To add to the lure of crime the temptation of ingratitude.
If You Want to Send a Message, Try Western Union.
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird quiz where he reveals the answer first.
Isn't beer the holy libation of sincerity? The potion that dispels all hypocrisy, any charade of fine manners? The drink that does nothing worse than incite its fans to urinate in all innocence, to gain weight in all frankness?
I'm glad I'm funny. I'm glad I make people happy, because that's very important. But I'm proud to be known as a kind person.
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
there was an assumption that I was personally attacking Sarah Palin by impersonating her on TV. No one ever said it was 'mean' when Chevy Chase played Gerald Ford falling down all the time. No one ever accused Dana Carvey or Darrell Hammond or Dan Aykroyd of 'going too far' in their political impressions. You see what I'm getting at here. I am not mean and Mrs. Palin is not fragile. To imply otherwise is a disservice to us both.
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