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I learned to make things not matter, to put a seal on my hopes and place them on a high shelf, out of reach. And by telling myself that there was nothing inside those hopes anyway, I avoided the wounds of deep disappointment. The pain was no worse than the quick sting of a booster shot. And yet thinking about this makes me ache again. How is it that as a child I knew I should have been loved more? Is everyone born with a bottomless emotional resevoir?
Amy Tan
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Interpretation

What this quote means

The quote reflects on the complexity of hope and emotional resilience, suggesting that by detaching from one's hopes, one can shield themselves from disappointment.

In this quote, Amy Tan delves into the concept of emotional protection and the pain of unfulfilled expectations. She reflects on her childhood awareness of needing more love and suggests that by placing her hopes out of reach, she has managed to shield herself from the hurt of deep disappointment. However, this detachment also leads to an ache for the love and connection she recognizes should have been present, raising questions about the nature of hope and emotional depth.

Themes

HopeDisappointmentEmotionsChildhoodLove

In practice

Example use cases

This quote can be used in a discussion about emotional resilience and the impacts of childhood experiences on adult life.

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Even if I had expected it, even if I had known what I was going to do with my life, it would have knocked the wind out of me. When something that violent hits you, you can't help but lose your balance and fall. And after you pick yourself up, you realize you can't trust anybody to save you- not your husband, not your mother, not God. So what can you do to stop yourself from tilting and falling all over again?
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And for all those years, we never talked about the disaster at the recital or my terrible accusations afterward at the piano bench. All that remained unchecked, like a betrayal that was now unbreakable. So I never found a way to ask her why she had hoped something so large that failure was inevitable. And even worse, I never asked her what frightened me the most: Why had she given up hope?
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