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Usually we regard loneliness as an enemy. Heartache is not something we choose to invite in. It's restless and pregnant and hot with the desire to escape and find something or someone to keep us company. When we can rest in the middle, we begin to have a nonthreatening relationship with loneliness, a relaxing and cooling loneliness that completely turns our usual fearful patterns upside down.
Pema Chodron
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Loneliness is often seen as negative, but embracing it can lead to personal growth and understanding.

This quote by Pema Chodron suggests that while loneliness and heartache are typically viewed as enemies, they can actually be opportunities for introspection and self-discovery. By accepting and resting in loneliness rather than fleeing from it, we can transform our relationship with these feelings, allowing us to learn from them and shift our perspective towards a more peaceful existence.

Themes

LonelinessHeartacheSelf-DiscoveryAcceptanceGrowth

In practice

Example use cases

During a motivational talk about mental health, one might reference this quote to highlight the importance of embracing solitude.

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It's said that when we die, the four elements - earth, air, fire and water - dissolve one by one, each into the other, and finally just dissolve into space. But while we're living, we share the energy that makes everything, from a blade of grass to an elephant, grow and live and then inevitably wear out and die. This energy, this life force, creates the whole world.
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Meditation practice isn’t about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It’s about befriending who we are already. The ground of practice is you or me or whoever we are right now, just as we are. That’s the ground, that’s what we study, that’s what we come to know with tremendous curiosity and interest.
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We have two alternatives: either we question our beliefs - or we don't. Either we accept our fixed versions of reality- or we begin to challenge them. In Buddha's opinion, to train in staying open and curious - to train in dissolving our assumptions and beliefs - is the best use of our human lives.
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