Quotes on Funny Wedding

We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

A man's wife has more power over him than the state has.

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.

Marriage is the perfection which love aimed at, ignorant of what it sought.

A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.