Quotes on Funny

Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the Democrats, we will stop telling the truth about them.

Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.

When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.

Lord, protect me from my friends; I can take care of my enemies.

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it.

Things have to be funny first, and if they want to have a point, that's awesome.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement.

There has been much tragedy in my life; at least half of it actually happened.

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.

I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.

Nothing has really happened until it has been recorded.

There are two kinds of music; German music and bad music.

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.