Quotes on Funny

Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.

Just to settle it once and for all: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The egg, laid by a bird that was not a chicken.

The state of life is most happy where superfluities are not required and necessities are not wanting.

The stupider the peasant, the better the horse understands him.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.

You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

He that cannot reason is a fool. He that will not is a bigot. He that dare not is a slave.

You can build a throne with bayonets, but it's difficult to sit on it.

In order to be happy you need a good dog, a good woman, and ready money.

The people may be made to follow a path of action but they may not be made to understand it.

That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest or refuge from a great weariness or a great danger-not to be interfered with by speech or action which would distract the sensations from the fresh enjoyment of repose.

No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought? --Poirot

Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?

Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it's a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed.

Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.

If you cry ''Forward'' you must be sure to make clear the direction in which to go. Don't you see that if you fail to do that and simply call out the word to a monk and a revolutionary, they will go in precisely opposite directions?