Quotes on Funny

Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Life does not require us to be consistent, cruel, patient, helpful, angry, rational, thoughtless, loving, rash, open-minded, neurotic, careful, rigid, tolerant, wasteful, rich, downtrodden, gentle, sick, considerate, funny, stupid, healthy, greedy, beautiful, lazy, responsive, foolish, sharing, pressured, intimate, hedonistic, industrious, manipulative, insightful, capricious, wise, selfish, kind or sacrificed. Life does, however, require us to live with the consequences of our choices.

The idea that Bill Gates (one of the founders of Microsoft) has appeared like a knight in shining armour to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he, by peddling second rate technology, led them into it in the first place...

I've always been intrigued with the variety of answers this generation will give their children who ask, "Where did I come from, Mommy?" They will range from "Number 176 vial in Buffalo, New York," to "You were defrosted."

It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Whoever you hate will end up in your family. You don't like gays? _x000D_ You're gonna have a gay son. You don't like Puerto Ricans? Your _x000D_ daughter's gonna come home with Livin' La Vida Loca!

You may be sure that the Americans will commit all the stupidities they can think of, plus some that are beyond imagination.

Reality is like a doughnut: Everything that is good and funny and juicy is outside the center, which is just emptiness.

Paul Ryan's love for Rage Against The Machine is amusing, because he is the embodiment of the machine that our music has been raging against for two decades

Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.

And at the time, it is funny how you can look at something and say, for example with my shoulder injury, when it first happened I said this is the worst thing that could happen to me. Why me, why now? Now I look back and say it was probably the best thing that happened to me

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so ... look at the platypus.

Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Ones real life is often the life that one does not lead.